… a bit of advice from Rudyard Kipling and other good men. (Warning: the Aging Rascal has come out to play. This post is not for the faint of heart)
Let’s begin with a quote from one of my favorite humorists, David Sedaris, who has this to say about “undecided voters”: To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?’ To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
It’s time to celebrate the men … the real men, strong, smart, beautiful men young and old; men who aren’t ashamed or embarrassed to change their minds, ask for directions, admit there’ve been times they were wrong; men who openly love and admire strong, smart, beautiful women, for exactly who they are.
Here in this nowhere-near-complete list are men like Jess Piper’s and Gabby Gifford’s husbands (read more about them below), Tim Walz and Jared Golden, who as legislators changed their stance on gun control when horror hit too close to home, Doug Emhoff, who told the world about falling in love with his wife, Adam Kinsinger, a former republican who founded Country First, plus Joe Biden, whose love of country speaks for itself. And then there’s my oldest great-grandson.
Let me tell you a little story about Isaiah … Oregonian, ordinary guy, ruggedly handsome (maybe just a little bias on Grandnana’s part), GenZ college student, big brother to six blended family siblings. Some months ago Isaiah told me he was thinking of joining his friends who were boycotting this year’s election. “We don’t like Biden and we really hate Trump”. Fair enough, but did he understand the ramifications of that choice? We had a conversation about how boycotting an election is different than boycotting a discriminatory or dishonest business, an action that can indeed become a force for improvement. I felt good about his willingness to let me point out how boycotting viable candidates in an election, especially one as important as this one, doesn’t contribute to anything but aiding and abetting the one you want least. Isaiah left half-heartedly persuaded to vote for the “lesser of the two” and to talk further with his friends. I felt we had both been enriched. When the Democratic nomination for President shifted, we had another exchange. ”Now I feel like I’m really voting for somebody” And then, just last week I got a phone call (not a text but a real call) that went something like this … Hey, Grandnana! I only have a minute to get to my Women’s Studies class, but I thought you’d be happy to know I just filled out my ballot and will mail it today. Just happy to know? UhUh. Isaiah Ketel, you have made my day!! No, actually, YOU HAVE MADE MY WEEK!
So … in the words of a real old-timer like Rudyard Kipling … If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs … If you can trust yourself …If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue … If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you … yours is the Earth and everything in it … you’ll be a Man, my son! (Read the full poem “If” here)
Today’s Light Waves encourages men who didn’t watch Sam Elliot’s version about what it means to ‘man up’ in today’s world, to take a look and listen here. And if you don’t mind strong language, watch retired wrestler Dave Bautista’s hardline and just a bit crude rendition. You may want to share it with the more reluctant men in your life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Jess Piper, the Rural Missourian whose writing I love and often direct you to, in her October 10th Substack post, Red State Fear, introduces her husband as “a big ole, corn-fed country boy”. She then goes on to reveal him as the good guy he is and the even better guy he has become since she prompted his awareness of the fearless white man privilege he had never noticed. Jess ends her worthy read with these words ….
“The reality is that we cannot gain our rights back without involving men. I have such good men in my life. Would they have voted yes on Amendment 3 without me telling them? I’d say yes. Would they be as rabid in telling other men around them to vote yes if I had not worked on them for so long? Maybe not.
It’s not that we are dealing with self-centered jerks. It’s that they didn’t know what they didn’t know.
Now they do.”
With studies showing close to a 78% divorce rate following a spouse’s TBI (traumatic brain injury) it was heartwarming to see retired astronaut and Arizona Senator Mark Kelly at the DNC convention steadfastly supporting his wife, Gabby Giffords, the former congresswoman who survived an assassination attempt in 2011. Take three minutes to watch them here.
Don’t miss this from former republican representive, Adam Kinsinger, and Country First. It’s powerful evidence that the ability to change your mind definitely shows you have one. Watch this for the sake of our children and theirs and theirs.
And last, but not least, let’s not overlook Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown, whose journalist wife Connie Schultz shares a very sweet story here about her husband’s long-standing and deeply respectful relationship with the late Ethel Kennedy.
As I said, this is a far-from-complete list of the Good Men who are out there fighting for our Democracy. But it’s a start. If you want to bring others to our attention, please don’t hesitate to let us know about them in the “comments”.
Let’s close with these words from the soon-to-be first woman President of our United States: The baton is now in our hands to fight for, not against, this country we love. That’s what we have the power to do. So, let’s own that … dare I say, be joyful in the process of owning that, knowing that we can and will build community and coalitions and remind people that we are all in this together. Let’s not let the overwhelming nature of this strip us of our strength!
Also these from Joyce Vance: Remember that polls don’t vote. People do. What are you doing this week to save the Republic?
Oh My Goodness! I almost let you go without sharing Margaret Atwood’s take on it all.
And finally (I promise) let’s end with just a bit of rascality … remembering to sing and dance a little every day … to remind ourselves that the thing we most want not to do is pave over paradise and put in a parking lot.
Until next time, just keep b r e a t h I n g in&out, in&out. We’re all in this together.
Love, Sulima