Finding Steady Ground and Getting in Shape for the Long Haul

It is not only our hearts that are broken, but the heart of the world as well.

Hello again, Dear Friends & Fellow Rascals of all stripes  …  poets, farmers, welders, rock climbers and scuba divers, teachers, plumbers, circus acrobats, fisher folk, airline pilots, cooks, politicians, stand-up comics … and more.  As Stuart Kestenbaum reminds us in his beautiful poem, “Holding the Light,” it all comes down to this …  We are meant to repair and stitch together what beauty there is …   I invite you to read the poem in its fullness at the end of this post.

This month, even as the once-solid ground of our Democracy is shifting with the speed of light, I needed to take some time out to grieve the loss of friends and family.  It is not the first time death has ‘bunched up’ around me.  A few years ago I lost six friends in five months. And yet, by whatever decree or luck of the draw, I continue to wake up every morning. Old Age is not for sissies.

And now, with the Ides of March there came a trio …  first Sharon, my second longtime friend to be taken by Parkinsons, next, cousin “Skip”, whose body finally presented him with the bill for his time in Vietnam and Ground Zero. And just last week, exit my dear “Buddy”, the oldest of the remaining clan of cousins, all 14 of us born and raised (except for my little brother who died in infancy) back in the day on Flanders Road in Southington, Connecticut.

Midway between the loss of Skip & Buddy, I had the privilege of reading two of my poems featured in the anthology Mortality Poems, at a Portland poetry event. A video of “Ready, or Not”, as filmed by Kae Sharpe @poet_landia, is here if you’d like to see it. And then, as if to tie it all up with a big green St Patrick’s Day bow, the 11^th anniversary of my eldest son Mike’s departure.

Every year without fail, we celebrate Mike with one of his favorite meals (this year Jamaican Pork Stew & Collard greens), a Facetime call from Texas with his beloved daughter Jessica, and a couple of games of 10,000. Mike (like his mother) was never without an opinion, and we speculate about where he would stand in the midst of today’s ruckus. One thing for sure, he would be in the midst of it! DEI came naturally to Mike, the only criteria for his work crews or his personal relationships being that they hadn’t murdered anyone and could do the job they were given. I’m not 100% sure, but I like to think he’d make time to join me in a TeslaTakeDown. Maybe you would too! And I like to believe that my son would agree with one my favorite aging rascals, Bernie Sanders, who said: “At this particular moment in history, despair is not an option. None of us have the privilege of hiding under the covers. Let us never forget that real change only happens when ordinary people stand up – by the millions – against oppression and injustice … I am going to do my part, and I need you with me.” 

Another thing for sure … Mike was always his own man, definitely against oppression and injustice …  There were times when he struggled to find steady ground, but he was never one to walk away from a challenge.  I think of Paul Simon’s “American Tune” as one of his theme songs. Maybe this is a good day to hear it.

And speaking of Steady Ground … if you haven’t made the acquaintance of this website yet, I strongly encourage you to at least give it a glance. It might be just what you didn’t know you were looking for.    

https://www.findingsteadyground.com

And if you sign on for follow up messaging as I did, you will receive thoughtful reflections from real people who are actually practicing the sound advice being offered. I find it helpful.

As much as I’d like to end on an upbeat, I cannot leave you today without mentioning what I am coming to think of as the 2025 overlap of a very Unholy Trinity. As the month of Ramadan moves painfully toward its conclusion, millions of Christians honor Lent and prepare to celebrate Easter. This year, the Jewish celebration of Passover ends on Easter Sunday. And the Gaza nightmare (the very place where Jesus was born) continues. I want to direct you to my fellow substacker, Mohammed Mohisen who has chronicled his experience of Ramadan 2025 using words like these: There is no ceasefire only deception. There is no peace only more death. ‏All I ever wanted from this life was something so simple, so ordinary … Whether you choose to click on is up to you, but I encourage you to hear him when he speaks about the children who are without food and family; children without a childhood. Think of yours and of theirs and of those yet to come. For the sake of Life (all Life) FEEL SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING! Without Action, Hope is just another four-letter word.

I promised you a poem called “Holding the Light” by Stuart Kestenbaum. Here it is.

Gather up whatever is
glittering in the gutter,
whatever has tumbled
in the waves or fallen
in flames out of the sky,

for it’s not only our
hearts that are broken,
but the heart
of the world as well.
Stitch it back together.

Make a place where
the day speaks to the night
and the earth speaks to the sky.
Whether we created God
or God created us

it all comes down to this:
In our imperfect world
we are meant to repair
and stitch together
what beauty there is, stitch it

with compassion and wire.
See how everything
we have made gathers
the light inside itself
and overflows?  A blessing.

If there is ever to be Peace on Earth, may it begin with me and you and us  …  so that what we stitch together gathers the light inside itself and overflows with blessings on everyone, everywhere.  And let us remember too, these words from Alice Walker …   Love is not concerned with whom you pray or where you slept the night you ran away from home. Love is concerned that the beating of your heart shall kill no one.

Until next time,
Sulima